Ever since I was little I had a passion for writing. Maybe not the type of writing I am doing right now but more of the a fictional type. It was a creative outlet that allowed me to play around with feelings and thoughts to see how things played out. Not only that but it was a way to escape, much like reading can do for a person. Words seem to come much easier when I put pencil to paper or in this case fingers to keyboard. I am not going to bore you with all the reasons why I stopped writing but instead I am going to tell you how I started again.
If you are reading this you know my husband and I have a new startup business called Profitable Preparedness. I have had two businesses before this one and both were pretty successful but did not involve the lifestyle freedom that I sought. My first successful business was in a line of work that I had a natural talent for, doing hair. I played that role for 14 years but my passion and talents were being tested. I was, to put it simply not in love with it anymore. This was difficult to come to terms with and it was hard to scrap everything I had been working so hard for! I cannot begin to tell you the array of emotions that I went through in making that big decision; relief, sadness but the one that prevailed over all was optimism. I had to embrace this change and move forward.
So in good fashion I went back to the drawing board to find that next thing that I was really good at. I went back, way back to when I was a kid–hearing stories of my grandmother being an amazing and very detail oriented home cook. I am not sure what guided me into making gourmet caramel apples but I would like to think it was her living through me. I felt invigorated by the change; every day I stepped into that kitchen it was like my grandmother was there waiting for me to find her in some new design or flavor. I loved showing up to a silent kitchen with no one breathing down my neck to hurry, “you have someone waiting in the lobby” or the constant volume of women complaining about why I can’t fit them in; just the sound of rich bubbling caramel. I can smell it now...MMMM! I would go to the farmers market every Saturday with my one of a kind apples and call it art on a plate. The business was a success, over the course of one year I had proven to myself and to others that if you have a fight in you to be at the top you can shatter the ceiling. It felt great to have a product that people were excited about!
I could have kept going, I could have killed myself to feed that need but my body couldn’t take the abuse I was putting it through anymore. We all know running your own business takes a ton of GRIT and as I got busier and more popular there was a greater demand, but I was a one person show. My husband and I decided it was time for me to hang up the apron and do something I had never imagined in my wildest dreams, to become a stay at home mom. I was hesitant to pursue this new adventure–of course being fully available to our children’s needs sounded amazing but still I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I always saw myself working, always pulling my weight and never giving up on a dream that would give me self pride. Don’t get me wrong there is an abundance of pride in raising children and in my opinion one of the most rewarding jobs you can ever have. Still, there was something missing–Yes, I could accept that I just didn’t make it out in the service industry and just serve my family. I could now spend real quality time with them, teaching my youngest to read and write, show up for all of our daughters school events and cook delicious family meals every night but if I am being honest it just wasn’t enough for my creative soul.
Soul-searching is one of the hardest things to do when you don’t even know where to begin. It can also cause an effect called analysis paralysis, which is the state of over-thinking a situation so much that you never come to a conclusion. In order to overcome this paralyzing effect you have to know exactly what you are missing in your life to fully commit yourself to it. There is no golden compass to guide you to the missing link, you must start the process of filtering and prioritizing your thoughts. We have these tendencies to bury our dreams when we are faced with quick decisions or for better lack of terms, reality sets in. It also only takes one person to tell you cannot do this or that before you put your sign down and stop the march. My love for writing was buried deep inside of my mental fog, layers and layers of it. Even though I stopped, it has always been inside of me and it is not too late to begin again. So here I am back in the writing game, doing what I love and being closer to my family more than ever.
This is my message to you— It is never too late to take your hobby and turn it into a business, chase your childhood dream or reach into your soul and find the secret ingredient that will bring you true joy in your career and lifestyle. Take my advice and don’t let anyone stand in your way, including yourself. Life is short and we are all allowed to dream but to breath life into one’s passion, that is an accomplishment that nourishes self care.